


or a geodesic dome

by bossymarmalade (maggie)



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Character Study, Character of Colour, Desi Character, Diwali, Family, Gen, Hindu Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-30
Updated: 2008-10-30
Packaged: 2017-10-03 03:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggie/pseuds/bossymarmalade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>there are seven hundred million of us (most in apu's house)</p>
            </blockquote>





	or a geodesic dome

**Author's Note:**

> standard foreword: if i have written something problematic/oppressive to a marginalized group that you find hurtful, please please please don't think twice about telling me. i will never spew hate at you, will never attack you, and i will always thank you and make the change.

"I'll have a yellow," Bart says, and Apu beams at him.

"It is not yellow, my ignorant cherished customer! It is a new gold Squishee, in honour of the colours of Diwali --" he draws a cupful with a flourish and gives it to the boy, whose look of skepticism when he begins sucking on the straw rapidly turns into one of horror as he sprays a mouthful of semi-melted slush everywhere.

Apu smiles and finishes, "-- and flavoured with delicious clarified butter."

"I can't drink this!" Bart chokes, plopping the cup haphazardly back down on the counter. Apu shrugs and pours the half-melted Squishee in the butter-topping dispenser next to the popcorn machine, then turns to Lisa. "And what will you have, little girl?"

"Er ... I think I'll try red," Lisa says cautiously as Bart furiously licks at his own t-shirted shoulder to get rid of the taste. She accepts the cup with a hopeful, "Thank you! And Ganesh's blessings!" before taking a cautious sip, mouth pursed delicately around the straw. Her face freezes and she makes a tiny, high hacking noise as her brother looks on, excited. "What is it, Apu?" he demands. "Tandoori sauce? Hot hot chillies? Cow blood?"

"No!" Apu snaps, irritated. "It's jalebi." Bart looks confused, then hopefully ventures, "... elephant blood?" Apu sighs.

"A traditional Indian sweet, deep-fried and soaked in sugar syrup," he says. "Your sister might find it a little *too* sweet for her." The two of them look over at Lisa, whose pupils dilate all inky as she squeaks, "I'm breathing _jellyfish_!" and then drops to the floor, kicking and giggling. Apu leans over the counter, alarmed, but she seems pretty happy. Her blonde hair sticks to the floor in places as her hands starfish and toes point.

"Hoo!" Apu rubs his face. "We better let her work that off. And I better remove that flavour of Squishee before more non-Hindu children get bombayed on it." He turns around to the slush machine and Bart looks up from where he's guzzling red Squishee straight from the machine and goes, "wha?"

"Oh, that's it," Apu says. "I'm going home."

Manjula greets him with floury hands and her hair springing insistently out of its braid, making a curly halo that brushes against him when he kisses her. "I just finished frying samosas," she tells him, "and there's channa and aloo."

Apu is frankly astonished. "But how did you manage?" he asks. "With the horrible little -- I mean, with our joyous little bundles of joy running around?"

"Well," Manjula demurs. She seems about to say something more, but then just takes his hand and leads him to the little altar where their murtis are set up, and Apu sees his octuplets arrayed over the statues of Lakshmi and Ganesh. Each baby is nestled in one of each of the avatars' four arms, snoozing peacefully and without a peep.

For a moment Apu is flabbergasted, mouth open and working for words, but in the end none come and he hugs his wife tight instead. They set out the diyas and prasad and perform aarti, murmuring their prayers, hanging flowers carefully on the statues. Before they sit down to eat, Apu takes a couple full plates of food and places them before the murtis.

"We already made offerings," Manjula says, puzzled. Apu nods.

"Yes, I know," he says. "But if we give them full fridge privileges, they might babysit for us again." Manjula goes, "aaaaaah!" as though this is the most sensible and clever answer one could compose, and Apu remembers all over again why he loves her.


End file.
